Let’s talk a minute about Joyce. I first met her on Twitter. Honestly, at first blush, I thought she was one of those TwitHos, looking for dates or a rich husband by flashing her half naked body parts around. On further inspection, she seemed kind of nice, so I decided to be less judgmental and see what she was all about. But, I mean, seriously, can anyone really like a woman with these kind of abs?
Okay, against all odds, I manage to put my preconceived stereotypes aside and fall completely and totally in love with the amazing woman that is @JoyceCherrier. She is smart, kind, incredibly talented and wonderful addition to my life. I adore her. Or, at least I used to until she decided to try and kill me.
“What” you say? “Whatever do you mean?” Well, I’ll tell you. That #hagilicious hag of a woman took it upon herself to send me one of her favorite torture products, the P90X.
Do you have any idea what that is??? Here, let me show you.
Note the title: P90X Extreme Home Fitness System
Seriously. I’m at the gym lifting 10-pound dumbbells and this crazy broad sends me P90X. This is what I’m talking about, folks. Clearly, she is ill intentioned. To further illustrate my point, check out this lingo, lifted directly from the PX90 Extreme Home Fitness System Instruction Manual:
“If you’re unsure whether or not you are in good enough condition to take on this extreme fitness program (I am not, let me assure you), see the minimum suggested requirements in the Fit Test section of this guidebook. If you are unable to perform the minimum required reps for most of the exercises {or find the need to call the paramedics within minutes of popping in the first video} (funny, very funny) P90X might not be for you.”
So, I’m going on the record here. I’ve apparently done something to piss @JoyceCherrier off, because she has, without question taken the first step in an obvious murder attempt. I write this blog post to protect my family in the event she is ultimately successful and to warn others about her. Just as I first suspected, anyone who has abs like that, clearly, can NOT be trusted. Be careful. Be very, very careful.
P.S. And if you’re even remotely interested in fitness, great nutrition or living a life of wellness, I highly recommend you read and subscribe to @JoyceCherrier’s blog – she’s amazing and knows her stuff.
Shelly Kramer is a Principal Analyst and Founding Partner at Futurum Research. A serial entrepreneur with a technology centric focus, she has worked alongside some of the world’s largest brands to embrace disruption and spur innovation, understand and address the realities of the connected customer, and help navigate the process of digital transformation. She brings 20 years’ experience as a brand strategist to her work at Futurum, and has deep experience helping global companies with marketing challenges, GTM strategies, messaging develoment, and driving strategy and digital transformation for B2B brands across multiple verticals. Shelly’s coverage areas include Collaboration/CX/SaaS, platforms, ESG, and Cybersecurity, as well as topics and trends related to the Future of Work, the transformation of the workplace and how people and technology are driving that transformation. A transplanted New Yorker, she has learned to love life in the Midwest, and has firsthand experience that some of the most innovative minds and most successful companies in the world also happen to live in “flyover country.”
