Thank you very much for your DM asking me to help promote your:  _______________ (fill in the blank here – radio show, webinar, eBook, personal appearance, etc.).  Here’s a news flash:  I don’t know you.  Have you ever spoken to me (okay, and by this you know, dear reader, that I mean sending me an @message).  Have you ever, just once, commented on a link, blog post or a tweet or anything else that I have ever said, written, done?  Guess what — the answer to all of the preceding is a resounding “no.”

I mean so little to you that you’ve never even once messaged me. Never. Even. Once.

But yet, when you have something that you want to promote, you don’t hesitate to send me a DM with all the details about YOU, your celebrity (or non-celebrity status) an you have the absolute audacity to ask me to help promote you.  What planet do you live on?  Seriously.

I am, normally,  a pretty nice person. I love people, love engaging with people and go out of my way on a regular basis to support people that I believe in.  I can be counted on to regularly lend whatever “influence” that I have in the social media realm to people, causes or events that I believe in or support.  I love helping people – whether it’s spreading the word about a particular accomplishment or event or just lending an ear when needed. Get that?  I love people.  And I am a pretty doggone good friend.

But here’s the rub. We are not friends. You may follow me and, for some odd reason, I may follow you back (perhaps a mistake on my part, but sometimes I follow people back just so that I can keep an eye on them – and that’s another story).  But we are not friends. We have NEVER spoken. We do not “know” one another in any sense of the word.

Why then, would you feel it appropriate to send me a private message asking for me to help you promote something that you are doing for profit. In fact, I’m not sure why you would ask me to do anything for you … remember  … you don’t even know me.

I think that all too often people forget that the word “social” is a very big part of the phrase “social mediums.”  And, when something is called a social medium, it does not mean that it exists solely as a place for you to promote, sell your wares and take advantage of others.  If fact, according to the folks at Random House, “social” means:

1. pertaining to, devoted to, or characterized by friendly companionship or relations: a social club.
2. seeking or enjoying the companionship of others; friendly; sociable; gregarious.
3. of, pertaining to, connected with, or suited to polite or fashionable society: a social event.
4. living or disposed to live in companionship with others or in a community, rather than in isolation: People are social beings

So, once again, Mr. Top Guru Expert Muckety-Muck Jedi Social Media Maven, thanks, but no thanks.  Maybe, just maybe, if you invested half as much energy into actually being “social” in the social media realm as you do scouring the Internet for pithy quotes and jokes from dead comedians which you clearly program into a super duper cool Twitter client like TweetLater so that you don’t actually have to spend “real” time in front of your computer interacting with people, we might be friends (and could this sentence be any longer?). But, as of now, we are not.  We are not friends.  So please don’t ask me any more to help promote you and your events.  Instead, why don’t you try interacting. You might find you actually like it. And me. You might even actually like me. Because I am real. And, frankly, I might like you, too.  If you only gave it a chance.

What do you think?